I’ve been to a lot of book gigs and lit fests and the Pulpwood Queens Annual Girlfriend Weekend by far takes the cake. I don’t think words can adequately describe what really must be experienced. But here are a few memorable highlights:
The Movable Feast—On Thursday, author chefs prepared a succulent dinner at the Excelsior Hotel, with authors as the wait staff, including yours truly. We wore signed aprons, poured wine, and fawned over book groups. It was a raucous good time, plus I waited tables in college so it all came back to me. Nice to know I have a fallback career if this whole book thing doesn’t pan out. My favorite dish of the evening? Bread pudding made from Krispy Kreme donuts.
With Pat Conroy, Nicole Seitz, and Melissa ConroyMeeting a Legend—It was an honor to meet Pat Conroy, author of The Great Santini, and The Price of Tides, just to name a few. What an amazing gentleman. Iconic authors are busy. They fly in, do their thing, and fly out. We understand. But Pat was there all weekend. He donned an apron and waited tables like the rest of us. He offered praise and encouragement to all. And he bought books of all the other authors, and even waited in line to have them personalized. His presence and the way he carried himself was a great example, in writerly terms, of “show don’t tell.” The book groups felt it too.
Elvis Lives!—After each evening’s festivities many of the authors found their way to the bar. It wasn’t hard, there’s only one in town—Skinners. That’s were we saw Elvis rockin’ the karaoke mic. Glasses, sideburns, lower-lip all a quiver. Forget reality TV—reality is weird enough. Thankyaverymuch.
Authors Gone Wild—Writers spend their lives cloistered in their literary abbeys (mine is an office next to the garage). But deep down I think most of us yearn for the company of other authors, because misery always loves company, especially company dressed in wild costumes, with live music, skits, dancing (and copious amounts of fermented grape juice). It was so much more fun than your typical wine & cheese social or hospitality lounge. I had a hysterically fun-filled weekend getting to spend time with: Ad Hudler, Patti Callahan Henry (find your phone yet?), Jenny Gardiner, Heather Hepler, River Jordan, Lauretta Hannon, Kerry Madden, Jill Alexander, Hester Bass, Karen Harrington, Tracy Carnes, Mary Kay Andrews, Kathryn Casey, Nicole Seitz…and sooooo many other fine authors. Much love to all!
Just another day in the life of the Pulpwood QueensLong Live the Queens—Kathy L. Patrick started the Pulpwood Queens because she thought book groups should be unpretentious and fun—and of course hot-pink leopard prints and tiaras always help. That attitude permeates the entire weekend. One book group dressed in white, ala Glenda the Good Witch, wore lighted headwear, and had a mojito fountain complete with flashing LED shotglasses. Special shout-outs to Kay Huck and Marsha Toy Engstom, and all the Pulpwood Queens nationwide!
Sure beats the Hampton Inn—Downtown Jefferson is filled with B&Bs and I was fortunate to stay at the Alley-McKay House, where Hugh and his wife treated us better than royalty—they treated us like family. But what else would you expect from a couple that named their son, Atticus. How cool is that?
Glenda and Karen Harrington as DorothyTexas = Hair—The bigger the better, hence the Great Big Ball of Hair, with lavish costumes to match. This year’s Wizard of Oz theme was off the charts. I wussed out and didn’t bring a costume (fearing a bunny moment, ala Bridget Jones’ Diary). Was I ever wrong. The costumes and table decorations shouted, “Attention people of Earth: We are here to have a good time!”
Munchkin Power—The belles of the ball were a mother and daughter duo dressed as The Lollipop Kids. They tore up the dance floor as the crowd shouted, “Go munchkins…go munchkins…go munchkins…”
Winning isn’t Everything—I was fortunate to win Bonus Book of the Year, which was an amazing honor. But even more so was being runner up to Pat Conroy. I’ll stand in his shadow any day.
Hallelujah—It’s the Bible belt after all. I was happy to see a worship service on Sunday’s schedule of events. I had a long drive and three plane rides ahead of me, always nice to say a little prayer before I hit the road.
Dollywood—Lest you think it was all fun and games, there was an auction for a good cause—Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library. The Pulpwood Queens are all about literacy. There’s even a chapter creating book groups inside women’s prisons.
Thanks for an amazing weekend. See you next year!
Sunday, January 31, 2010 
Yes, I'm back from the sunny (partially cloudy) beaches of Kaua'i and heading to chilly Connecticut for a pair of book gigs.
