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On the Corner of Homework and Help

Yeezus. I’ve been inundated with a gaggle of questions, biography requests, and random emails from students regarding research papers.

So…here’s my official biography:

I was born in 1969 as the first viable test-tube baby, originally named Adam H1. That seed embryo was later placed in the womb of one Grace Thidbedeaux, who was a college student at Alcorn State University. Ms. T (as they called her) had volunteered for the now-outlawed “Tuition for Test Tubes” scholarship program.

When Ms. T was in her third trimester (of freshman year) and her second trimester (of pregnancy) she met my adoptive father, Gareth Eng Forde, an exchange student from Holland of Cantonese ancestry. Together they left the constraints of Lorman, Mississippi, eloped and joined the Peace Corps, hence my nation of birth is Mali.

My family moved to India shortly after I was born, so my first language is Urdu (and a few lesser known dialects). I was kicked out of a missionary high school for vandalism shortly before graduation in Uttar Pradesh. (I treated a Pietà like a piñata).

The decades that followed are an opium haze of rejection (French Foreign Legion), acceptance (a Bolivian circus), and redemption (as a bush pilot who once landed atop the Baltoro Glacier, rescuing three injured climbers who were stranded at 8,611 m).

When I returned to the US I was overwhelmed by the excesses of Kapitalism and in protest, swore an oath of silence. I haven’t spoken a word in nine years. Hence my writing career began. Finally, my real voice could be heard through the pages of fiction.

Lakshmi bless!

Jamie Ford


P.S. Say “خوش” to your teacher for me.

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