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Monday
Mar062006

Jessica Simpson plans to bare her commodious lexicon

Simpson.jpgParis City Light announced a new power generation facility built at the Père Lachaise Cemetery where Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde is interred. Engineers have hooked up a generator to his casket taking advantage of the dead poet spinning in his grave over Jessica Simpson’s planned book of poetry. The vapid vamp announced her poetic yearnings in this month’s copy of W Magazine.

In related news, MTV Productions have shelved their planned reality show Jessica & Nick: The Divorce. Instead they’ve put production weight behind the new horror-infused reality show Jessica Simpson takes the S.A.T.

(Major props to Vic Correro at Writesville for breaking this latest sign of the Apocalypse).

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Reader Comments (7)

And if they ran a second line over to Jim Morrison's grave in the same cemetery, they'd light all of France.

Adam
March 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAdam Hurtubise
That's true. I forgot the Lizard King was over there too. Gads, Jessica is easy on the eyes but the thought of reading her poetry makes me want to gouge mine out with a shrimp fork.
March 6, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterjamie
Hubs used to like Jessica. But ever since Dukes of Hazzard, hubs now goes into violent convulsions at the slightest mention of her.
March 8, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterdana
She should stick to what she's good at--the fine art of booty-quake. Leave the poetry to trained professionals.
March 8, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterjamie
There is only one thing worst than being Jessice Simpson, and that is being married to her.
March 11, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterE. Ann Bardawill
Poor Jessica. Another victim of the "any attention is good attention" school of thought.
March 11, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLainey
There's talent and then there's bra-size. Both have their place in the entertainment world. Just not the literary world.
March 11, 2006 | Registered CommenterJamie

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